Posts tagged ‘Life’

July 24, 2011

Lets be honest shall we?

As you guys should know I am recently a teen mom.
Becoming a Mom was not in my life goals, but hey s**t happens right. ? I found out I was pregnant and immediately I knew I was keeping my baby. I lost may friends because they told me I was ruining my life and many people stressed to me how hard it was going to make my life. At the time losing my friends and hearing all the negative comments made me upset. But let me be honest. Being a mom isn’t easy, not as a teen nor adult! But its not
hard” either, It’s a challenge:) and its amazing. Looking back u
I don’t care about the “friends” I lost and I can’t wait to see the look on the faces of the ones who doubted me, when they see how great I am doing ūüôā
In all honesty being a mom is the greatest thing ever and it has made me stronger and happier then I could ever imagine ūüôā I would never say its okay to be a teen mom nor would I recommend it to any teen. And I am definitely not trying to glamorize it. But let’s be honest shall we, its only hard if you Make it hard(:

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June 26, 2011

39weeks pregnant update

Sorry I haven’t updated in a while.. internet has been down.. and I am forced to use my cell phone to post.

So I am 39 weeks and 4 days pregnant. And I am more then ready to have my Little girl. I’m sick and tired everyday. I’m tired of feeling like crap and I want to meet my little girl:) my doctor doesn’t believe in waiting 2weeks after your due date to induce so if I don’t have my baby girl by July 5th I am being induced July 6th at 5pm. I an really scared to be induced. I know its harder on your body then natural labor is. So everyday I walk, climb stairs, bounce around, etc. All in efforts to get this baby out. I feel contractions every so often and at my last appointment my doctor said I was dilated a little and she could feel the babies head.. I pray every day for a healthy and happy labor, delivery, and baby. And that it comes super soon.
Well that’s all

for now:) thanks for reading.

June 15, 2011

Been a while..

Sorry..
I know its been a while since i have posted.
Been verry Busy here, trying to get everything together and preparing for the birth of my daughter ANY DAY NOW:)
Be back soon,
I promise. ‚̧

June 7, 2011

4 hours at the hospital..

Last night was an eventful night. I woke up nauseated and being 36 weeks pregnant I figured it was just morning sickness. But around 5 I started having stomach pains, so I called my doctor, she told me just to come in the morning, so that was the plan. But then I began to vomit. So my mom made me go to the hospital. So I get to the hospital,get ¬†in this horrible hospital gown and get all strapped up to the monitors. Fun.. not really. Then they tell me I am having contractions. And they were strong, but I didn’t feel a thing. So the nurse checked me and I was completely closed up. No dilation or effacement. So she had me drink a large cup of water to try to stop the contractions. But as soon as i finished it,

it came right back up.. So that didn’t help. Because I was still having contractions the nurse gave me fluid and medicine to stop my nausea through an IV.. Which hurt like hell and made me shake like crazy. but after all that the contractions finally stopped thank God. And now I am pretty much on bed rest. :/

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June 2, 2011

Maddison. With Two D’s

Is it such a problem to name my daughter Maddison because is means “son of Matthew”?(going by what someone told me)

In the opinions of others, it is a problem. Supposedly¬†it’s over used, and I am giving my daughter a guy name. Ha that’s funny because I have never met a guy with that name. The closest name I have ever heard on a guy is Addison and that is her father’s name. We are naming my daughter Maddison after her father Addison.

So if it’s not bad enough that people (who I have no relation to) hate the fact that I am naming her Maddison because of the meaning, they are so pissed that the name has 2 d’s… WTF… Last time I checked it was up to the parents of a child what to name them and how to spell it.. Correct? or am I wrong?

Sorry for the useless rant.. Thanks for reading.. ¬†ūüôā

May 31, 2011

Getting back in the game.

I used to write ALL THE TIME.. poems, short stories, ideas for stories, etc. But i haven’t written much in the Past couple of years, except stuff for English and journalism. So. How do I get back into the writing scene. I still love to write but, ideas don’t flow the way they used to. I am going to go through some of my old stories and poems and review some of my writing, to get an idea. Maybe they will refresh my mind. The only hard part is finding them.

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May 30, 2011

My Future. Decision Making… ?

I find myself thinking at most times. What am I going to do when I get out of high school? What will my future be? I am going to be a sophomore in August, and I know I have a couple of years to make my decision. But¬†i¬†am the type of person that plans. I hate just going with the flow. I have to know. I don’t know what. There are so many things I am interested in, but nothing¬†i¬†am passionate about.¬†cosmetology, a career in hospitality, and even medical assisting. My High school offers programs to all of these¬†careers¬†that can help me with my future, should I choose one of those careers. I could graduate with my¬†cosmetology¬†license if¬†i¬†chose to take the course. But how do you make such a decision. How do you know whether or not to do one thing or the other? I want my baby girl to know that she has a secure future. I want a good job that will leave her financially stable when I go. The decision¬†i¬†make won’t only affect me, but her too.¬†That’s¬†one thing about this world. You can never make a decision that will affect only you. Others are always impacted one way or another.¬†gawsh… that makes my future harder

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May 30, 2011

On the bright side.

Lets face it, the world isn’t at it’s best. There is SO much negativity, education isn’t as important as it should be, and the economy sucks! It’s quite scary actually to think about. So don’t. I know your probably wondering how do you not think about it when it has such an impact on your life. Well it’s easy. Distract yourself or think positive, there are many things you can do. My thing is Praying. Thinking about the world and all the disastrous things happening scares me. It scares me A LOT. Sometimes it even makes me so depressed I can’t think. But I began to pray one day, and everything was at ease again. Don’t get my wrong i still think of the scary times on occasion, just wondering whats going to happen. But then I have to pull myself back to reality pray again and think. I think about my unborn daughter. I think that I can’t stress it’s not good for her. And i think about my family and my boyfriend. I think about how amazing they are. I think about God. And i think that through him everything will be okay. Thinking on the bright side is not something I have done in the past. I used to be the typical teenager. The one who didn’t care about who she was or anyone else for that matter. But I have changed. Just like many people should. ¬†I can only think of how my life would be if I still thought only of the negative. I can’t think that way anymore. I have to be happy as can be with my life and my little family, for myself and my daughter. ‚̧

So when times are tough and you feel like you can’t make it, think positive, and think about all the good that has happened or will happen. Try to wipe the bad out of your mind.

May 29, 2011

“With arms wide open”

This song is currently my ringtone for my phone. I know it is about being a DAD, and I am going to be a mother, but this song is the first song that popped into my head when I found out I would be a mother. I cry sometimes when I listen to it. I am here for my daughter with arms wide open. I will hold her in my arms when she cries, and I will teach her right from wrong and pray to God that she fallows the right path. And may God give me and my Boyfriend the strength to be the best parents we possibly can be. I will never forget the day I read the pregnancy test and it had two lines. I remember just feeling empty but not in a bad way. I felt hopeful. And i knew from that point out I would be responsible for a life. And I have to take care of my body to ensure a safe arrival into this dangerous world. And when she is born i will have to watch over her and let her grow independently from a child to a women. I hope she doesn’t make the same mistakes as me. And I hope she realizes that I love her and always will.

“Well i just heard, the news today. Seems my life, is gunna change, I close my eyes, begin to pray, then tears of joy, stream down my face, With arms wide open.”